I know it has been quite some time since I wrote a post, but I have so many emotions and thoughts that I can't express correctly unless I write them out. Plus, I don't want to forget them. Since Thursday, I have been overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with a love for my Savior. Overwhelmed with a new passion to serve Him. Overwhelmed with sadness for the loss of a family member. Overwhelmed with how amazing of a woman she was. Overwhelmed with how much I love my church. The list could seriously go on and on. and on.
The women's retreat this weekend was fantastic (other than the bears that just wouldn't take a hint and go away!). I got to know some of the women I attend church with a lot better as well as reconnect with some of the ones I have known since childhood. I also got to spend 3 days with my sister (that means nonstop hilarity basically). I was blown away with how awesome Tina and Lea-Ann attended to every detail that could ever be thought of- amazing I tell you!! The services were such a blessing and worshiping the Lord with other women is so refreshing and like nothing else. I left the retreat yesterday morning really fueled up and ready to hit the ground running to serve the Lord!!
After getting home yesterday, Brittany and I had to immediately turn around and head to a funeral for our cousin, Lisa. I knew Lisa pretty well and loved her very much. I was not the only one. The church was packed and the tears flowed. She was only forty-three, had overcame so many health issues, had a husband and two teenage daughters that needed her- I keep constantly wanting to question God why. Then I have to remind myself, that His ways are not my ways and His plans are not my plans. She will be incredibly missed, but she is in a far better place holding a nail-scarred Hand walking through heaven with no need of a cane anymore!
I know this may sound weird to some, but being at her funeral was such a blessing. I left convicted. Family members I spoke with left telling me they wanted to get back in church. This woman, though physically in pain more than we could imagine, served the Lord with her whole heart. Though she needed a hip replacement and could barely walk, every Sunday rode a school bus alongside her husband to pick up children and take them to church. The list of ministries she was involved in and helped with was long, but her pastor still said she would say to him, "I know I can't do much." He read Proverbs 31 and her husband raised his hands signaling pure agreement that her value was worth far more than rubies. Yes, I cried. What a blessing it was to know her! She was so pure and kind-hearted.
Nichole Nordeman's song, "Legacy" comes to mind when I think about her. It says, "I want to leave a legacy. How will they remember me? Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough?" I remember not every hearing ugliness or complaining ever coming out of her mouth. She was like, as it says in Philippians, a shining star. If I can be half the woman Lisa Allen was, I will have accomplished a great feat. She put into perspective for me that there is no excuse not to serve the Lord. You make time and make a way to do the things you want to do, and if you are a believer, that should be serving and spending time with the Lord.
So I come away from this weekend truly and utterly overwhelmed with the peace that passes all understanding.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3GxmLaaAwg
